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Dr. Speedbump will soon be giving himself a lobotomy. "How hard can it be?" In the meantime, he's having an open house. The adventurous can see a SITE MAP by entering through that vacant spot shown on the brain-scan. The timid may enter through "My Room". The wise will shut down their computers and spend the time with with family, friends or furry quadrapeds. Those who enter will find: The Short-Attention-Span Playhouse, featuring Broadway parodies Philosophy Satire Good-Natured Blasphemy Really Bad Poetry Sudden Fiction Original Music Compositions: Liturgical, Satirical or both Fun with Words Trivia An Art Gallery Dr Speedbump's Family Tree and A Guestbook At least visitors have entered through the front. Nobody knows how many more have sneaked in the back. Dubious Distinctions: The Attention Deficit Compan is listed among the top 50 sites on the entire World Wide Web -- in the "Useless Pages" category, that is -- according to DMOZ, Google, and other directories. The kudos continue: Dr Speedbump thinks he heard his friend SueAnne say it was "awesome", but perhaps she actually said "awful". All contents Copyright 2000-2005 -- except the plagiarism, which is clearly identified as such.